Mistress OWU: questions about college, coitus, and culture

Hello, cherubs! In lieu of answering your most pertinent sex and dating-related questions in column form, this week we're doing our second "Twitter-style" Mistress OWU. Get ready for some rapid-fire sexiness. All questions are answered in 140 characters or less and are specifically geared towards women. You're welcome, ladies.

See you at the bar, then see you at the clinic!

XOXO,

Mistress OWU



Q: What's the best first-date spot in Delaware? I would go off-campus for Chipotle, but that's far away, even though it's romantic.

A: Wow, I think you're my kind of girl. I like 1808, after dark, on a week night. Good cocktails, good wait staff and the place is empty, so it's intimate. Sit at the bar; order the Angelfood martini.



Q: I have a lot of random hook-ups that are kind of unpredictable. What's the sexiest underwear I can buy that's still suitable for every day?

A: EASILY the Victoria's Secret Lacie thong. It's comfy, comes in a variety of fun colors and one-size-fits-all. Plus, cheap at 3/$30.



Q: What's the single best thing I can do to improve my experiences between the sheets?

A: Be comfortable with your body.



Q: Oh, my God, I'm pregnant and need an abortion. What do I do?

A: Don't panic, and remember that you are not alone. I (and the Women's House) recommend Capital Care Women's Center in Columbus. The number is (614) 430-3711.



Q: I really hate the way my vagina smells, and my boyfriend does, too. Should I douche?

A: Dump your boyfriend, first of all. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. You don't need to douche. Soap and water in the shower for hygienic purposes works fine.



Q: Over Thanksgiving, I'm going Christmas shopping for my boyfriend. He's not dropping any hints. What do I get him?

A: I can only tell you what you shouldn't get him, which is a gift card to Best Buy.



Q: Over Thanksgiving, I'm going Christmas shopping for my girlfriend. She's not dropping any hints. What do I get her?

A: I can only tell you what you shouldn't get her, which is some sort of loofah/bath gel kit from Bath and Body Works.



Q: I'm so embarrassed. I don't have a date for Pres Ball. What do I do?

A: Jesus, are you seriously worried about this? Go with your friends. This isn't the junior prom. Settle down.

Editor's Note:
Mistress OWU is not a certified relationship counselor. She can only offer the informed advice of an experienced college student.



Q: Sex position of the week?

A: Decidedly, reverse cowgirl. Have fun!